Tricia's+Proposal

Hello,

I'm not sure if I am creating this properly, here goes to my brief introduction to my final project and thesis.

The formation and integration of various cult rituals and gods were not the consequential result of one intersection in history but rather a series of serendipitous events that created a cross cultural embrace of various "foreign" mysteries. One of the latter events was the possession of Egypt by Ptolemy Soter, the infamous general in Alexander's army who gained a tremendous amount of political power during his reign of this region. The refusal of the Egyptian priesthood to abandon their sacred rituals to foreign invaders inspired Ptolemy to forge a Hellenistic-Egyptian diety, which could be incorporated into the religious devotion of both the Greeks and Egyptians. This god was an etymological fusion of the Egyptian god of the afterlife-Osiris-Apis and the Greek word for coffin (soros), thus the god was aptly bestowed the title, Serapis. The cult of Serapis surged in popularity in Alexandria and eventually migrated and settled West into Rome, where the cult flourished as devotional ritualized practice centered on the mystical marriage of Serapis and Isis, the Egyptian goddess of creation. In Rome temples in honor of the mystical pair were constructed for the devotees and iconic images of both Serapis and Isis were prevalent throughout the city. Romans embraced the traditions surrounding Isis and Serapis as they were easily recognizable as in the Roman pantheistic tradition as Jupiter and Juno represented a very similar spiritual union. The myths and practices for both deities rooted in Rome paved the way for the christian rituals which would later dominate the spiritual lives of the Roman Empire upon Constantine's declaration of one Christian Empire.

Very richly expressed introduction to your thesis! Actually, if you take apart the above paragraph piecemeal and explain each step, you will have a very good, coherent paper. Just please break it down and explain each step clearly. As this paragraph shows, your thoughts are wide-ranging and complex. Which is great for your thesis, but your reader needs to be taken by the hand, step-by-careful-step, and shown exactly how these pieces fit together. This is a lot of work for you, but will produce a lot less work for the reader! This will be an exciting presentation if you can pull this off.

Thesis- The mystery cult of Serapis and Isis created a critical facet of devotional and spiritual life in Italy which secured an environment for the acceptance and propagation of the Christian myth of Jesus and the Virgin Mary and ultimately the epicenter of Catholicism.

Your thesis statement is complicated by your recognition of the historical complexity. This is good! However, for the sake of reader friendliness, your thesis might be sharpened by truncating it something like this: The mystery cult of Serapis and Isis created an Italian devotional environment in which the later story of Jesus and his Virgin Mother could flourish in subsequent centuries of Catholicism.

Does this shortening compromise what you want to say? Your grammatical skill handles complexity and conditional thinking very beautifully. But can you also throw out an occasional punch?

You might entertain a further step of more provocation by going down this route: The Italian devotion to Jesus and his Virgin Mother would be hardly imaginable without the prior mystery cult of Serapis and Isis in the Roman Empire.

Anyway, you might play around with these components to get something that you can correctly establish in your paper (using your excellent references) while still simplifying it enough so a reader to quickly understand and become intrigued.

Good luck! and go forward!

List of Readings-

Isis in the Ancient World:R.E.Witt Religion and the Romans: Ken Dowden The Ancient Mysteries: A Sourcebook-Marvin Meyer Ancient Mystery Cults: Walter Burkert The Cults of the Roman Empire: Robert Turcan Mystery Cults of the Ancient World: Hugh Bowden Isis and Serapis in Roman Society: Samuel Dill